When I was young I was a captive. Not a captive like you were. Not a captive of the school system or the general dismissal with which adults treat children. I was shackled by guilt, no
I was cast in it. I wore pretty dresses my sweet mother dressed me up in, and I went to school with ribbons in my hair. I was a pretty little girl. You wouldnt know it now. I grew out of my face in high school. Then, I was pretty, and I felt terrible when the girls from south of Tenid blvd. came to class in hand-me-downs and boys jeans. I was ashamed of myself, I was so sure that my flagrant display of my mothers skills as a seamstress could hurt them. I owned their jealousy. Sometimes they took it out on me, I accepted my punishment. Id have grass stains and tears on my dress. On the way home I could barely place one foot in front of the other, they were so heavy with inadequacy. How could I show myself at home after I had endangered her beautiful creations I had to go home of course, I would feel too bad if I made my parents worry? My brother was clumsy and always tired. I blamed myself for every cup he broke. I could have helped, if Id been there. I knew he was prone to dropping cups
shit like that. I needed therapy. Daddy never understood, he was resilient, better than the rest of us. Or so I thought. He was just like me, and he couldnt stand that. Mom didnt ever grow up, she still screams when she sees spiders. Her home is full of cherubs and happy porcelain cats. Shell be eight until she dies. She couldnt handle what happened with Jenia. Couldnt even talk about it. She never talked about it, daddy needed to. I needed to, but I couldnt. She
No one wanted to talk, they all wanted to
They all wanted to
Damn it! Yknow! Theyre all play acting. Still. How can someone go through that and not have it count for something?
In my whole town, I was the only one
the only one that felt remorse. Not anger, not righteous indignation, vindictiveness, horror or shame by association. I knew I had been wrong
evil. After that I never felt guilty about the little things. Sex, drugs
some things just dont matter.
[Interview with writer illustrator Todd Fenlick, excerpted from Comics Reporter, an illustrated interview and review magazine.]
(Laughs) I can see why that would be frustrating. Is that why you started writing Gunhead?
maybe it is. Some kind of very gradual pen and ink Primal scream. s funny, I like the energy and franticness of Gunhead., but his power, I mean hes always loaded, he never gets a chance to be a man. A defenseless, happy man
pre-emptive, I mean everywhere he goes
His heads a damn gun!
C.R. (laughs) Well, Gunhead is nothing like your other graphics. cause his heads a damn gun which is certainly always loaded. Firewall was all about people being more powerful than individuals. Limit and of course Graces Contra are also about heroism, but captain Grace doesnt have any powers unless hes injured, and the brown boys cant use any of their stuff without say-so.
T.F. I have a hero fixation, and too much power makes heroism turn grey. I mean there is a place for power vs. power. A child couldnt take on the Injustice League unless he has the powers of the Earths Mightiest Mortal.
thats not a good example, Captain Marvel is so much like Superman.
C.R. You always used to say you wanted to work on supes
no I really just wanted to meet him. (Laughs) Supermans not really a hero without the extremes that are written for him, I mean not on his own. Hes divine intervention. When I was little, Superman could save me. I want to be the hero now. Spidey or Batman. Bats is a bit
elemental, Spidey is every man, yknow plus twenty IQ points.
C.R. And powers.
T.F. Yeah, but they are a burden too. Thanks to (uncle)Ben. I dont think powers are justified
I mean not reasonable without things being desperate. The Hulk was good for that. Hes just not heroic enough. I
As a child I was always helpless
that was me. So I worshipped Superman. I was angry though, like Bruce Banner it was all kept inside
I needed to be a hero, but I couldnt justify always having powers I wasnt a god. So I think... I mean a god like supes. He only happens to be Kal El from Krypton, he only happens to work for the paper
Hes Horus or even Gilgamesh. If Kal El had died on Krypton it would have been Marvel or the Lantern... yknow.
C.R. Lets talk about your heroes for a moment. Lets talk about Kelly.
C.R. She was your next
T.F. I dont want to talk about this
C.R. Come on, you dedicate every thing to her and to Jenia, Ive done such good research.
T.F. Im moving on
C.R. I spoke to Kelly a month ago.
T.F. I dont want to hear it.
C.R. She said...
T.F. I dont care...
T.F. Dammit! I dont want to know! When I saw her last she was...
Higher than a
T.F. STILL A HERO
Why does that change
we condemn someone for one screw up, we say oh, hes a dirty rapist. Whatever he does it doesnt matter hell always be a dirty rapist Why cant it swing the other way? Well, thats
. I mean Kelly... It doesnt matter what shes done yhear? She will always be a hero. She made me do right!
Saved my soul
T.F. Cant we just talk about comics?